Following the Dopamine

There’s a saying in the ADHD world that is kinda new, but it applies here, and in everyone’s world: FOLLOW THE DOPAMINE…

The idea is tied to the old adage, “Do what you love, and the money will follow.” But it’s a little deeper than that, too. Even without the money aspect of it, this advice stands up to the test of time. When we follow our hearts, good things happen.

If you pay attention to yourself, and note the productive and positive things that spark joy in you, the things that give you satisfaction to do, the things that make your heart sing because you’re using your talents and skills to create and change things that are important to you… you will be happier in the moments, and overall.

We all have those aspects of our lives that give us a bigger payoff than most. We are interested in them. The work we put in feels somehow a bit easier, and our thoughts about these things come unbidden to our minds, where they are welcome. If these things are brought up in conversation, our enthusiasm blooms out and we light up. We can’t help it.

What these things might be is entirely up to the individual. It can be arts and crafts, parenting, writing, exercise, helping others, music, building… It can be something very specific, like raising muskrat or carving tiny chickens. Really, anything.

When doing those things you enjoy intersect with creating an object or thing or service, you have an opportunity to have a career you love. This might mean getting training (which somehow you complete more easily), or an apprenticeship (which you fit into like a square peg in a square hole), or becoming an entrepreneur (which you learn about and plan with drive and dedication).

Sometimes, what we do for a living isn’t the thing we love doing, and that’s okay too. We can do our daily job knowing it pays the bills and keeps the lights on so we can do our favorite thing in our off time.

That dopamine kick is the thing we are seeking, and it takes discipline to seek it out in healthy ways. There are some unhealthy and even dangerous ways to get your kicks. There are substances that can replicate that kick, to a point.
In the grand scheme of things, though, those things are destructive. In fact, those choices we make to act out negative behaviors and seek out unhealthy substances are usually driven by a different motivator than the one that gets us up in the morning to paint, or teach, or repair washing machines all day (hey, it’s a real thing). That motivator is anxiety, and anxiety is just fear acting out.

I saw a video yesterday that blew me out of the water concerning the things we do and why we do them. The gist of it was, you can act based on two motivators: anxiety/fear, or happiness/joy.

Anxious action is motivated by fear. It can be a deadline, an ultimatum, an event coming up, or a threat (perceived or otherwise), among other things. Though you may achieve your goal, the only result of this on a physiological level is relief, or the removal of the threat. Operating with fear as a motivator will get things done, but at a great cost to you. Negative behaviors and substance use are also fear-induced actions.

Joyous action is motivated by happiness. It can be a feeling of achievement, the completion of a piece of work, a physical object you can hold or use again, or sharing of mutual satisfaction (like a good deed/helping someone). When you achieve your goal, which was in itself the motivator, you receive rewards while you’re accomplishing your goals or tasks, and afterwards, in the form of dopamine and other lovelies like serotonin and oxytocin.

It does take discipline to learn to follow the dopamine. In many cases, the dopamine trail is more work than the adrenaline drive. But the overall effects of taking the joy-driven path are more positive, and they have the ability to keep you looking and feeling younger. They last long after the dopamine wears off, and often return simply by thinking about the thing you did or seeing the object you created.

This method comes with some anxiety-inducing issues of its own, particularly if you are inclined to make a serious life change based on what makes you happy.

If you’re miserable in your job and want to quit to pursue your interest as a career, it might mean a cut in pay, or even no pay for a while. It might mean working a while longer, and tightening your belt to save money and open a business. It might mean making an investment in some hobby equipment, and you’re usually last in line for those things in your current home atmosphere. It could even mean selling a home and moving somewhere more conducive to doing the things you want to do, or going back to school for a while.

Whatever your personal situation, the risks will be present. But there are risks to staying where you are, doing the same thing you’ve been doing, and hating life as well. There may be financial stability in that, but zero happiness.

I guess it’s about finding the intrinsic value in happiness itself, and making joy your payoff first.

I personally have ADHD which means I don’t actually get as much of a charge as a “normal” person does, so it’s especially important for me to develop the discipline to choose action based on joy instead of anxiety. Truly, my brain is hard wired for that anxiousness, and I’ve trained that brain to respond to it. That’s why I get more done at the last minute than the whole rest of any given timeframe. But it isn’t a good long-term way of operating in this beautiful life. It invites too much sadness, too much stress, too much darkness and worry into something that could be happiness.

So, I am reminding myself as much as anyone else: pay attention to yourself. Note what makes you tick, and in particular, what makes you happy. Then, go do that. I am!

Love,

Dee